I have been loath to admit the following:
This blog, every other blog out there and the platform as a whole is:
OBSOLETE! AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!
In order to cope with this sad reality I drew a picture:
Even though computer culture has labeled me obsolete because I still keep a blog, I write in this space because I love to. I feel a little spark when I see that people are looking at my blog (and from foreign countries!) but I mostly do it for myself.
I am not in school or any writing programs. I miss writing. And not the everyday sort of journal writing that has been part of my life for years. I love words and sentences and thinking about the millions of combinations you can create in your brain to express a thought.
That said, I love writing and will always love writing, but I am going to allow this blog to slow down. Not because it is obsolete, but because my creative projects and goals have shifted in recent times. I have been churning out more physical forms of art and writing and have a few BIG DREAMS down the road which I would like to give my all to. They leave little time or energy for the blog, unfortunately, but I am excited about them and you can’t have it all.
Thank you everyone who has ever read or enjoyed my blog! I won’t be gone completely and don’t forget to keep me in the back of your mind!
You know the scene. A hot girl with glasses titters, “I’m such a nerd!” Yet… you are not so easily swayed.
My theory: people are catching on to the fact that geeks/misfits/high school loners are the ones who truly do change the world and shine the hardest. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, the Facebook guy, Tina Fey etc. It’s like the ugly duckling story. I think everyone wants a piece of that.
My theory goes on to state that people who do not yet know how to be themselves grab hold of this phenomenon because it is real. If you choose to identify with something that is real does that make you real as well? Geek-dom is real because it is all about being goofy and awkward and funny and ultimately down-to-earth. It’s about really liking something and connecting with other people who like that thing too and not caring if anyone else thinks about you or not.
In Malaysia there were two or three instances in which I had to socialize with embassy officials and their ilk. Successful, intelligent, well-rounded, accomplished, global professionals. Are you sweating yet? The first time I was incredibly nervous and therefore a shy mushy blob of human. Yet the second and third times I realized something: all these fancy and daunting people were actually huge nerds! They were the smarty pants in high school who were always dreaming big yet maybe not drinking beer after the football games. They were probably not hot or suave. I felt at home and I felt proud.
So being a geek is in these days. Some people get mad about it. But I say, why worry? The real geeks know who they are and the “late-adopters” are plainly visible. They can just spin in circles over there.
Four summers ago I lived on a farm in Norway and my day-to-day life actually included activities such as: pick chanterelle mushrooms in the forest, pick blueberries and raspberries in the forest, weed the potato field, canoe out to the bathing spot to wash in the lake and bike to Sweden in my time off.
I’m not sure if that summer was real or not.
My father is a constant source of inspiration. There are a lot more “Life w/Dad” strips brewing… just like kombucha.
We all know what is said about lemons. But when something bad happens, this is usually how it goes:
- Stay in bed with your very unwashed sheets.
- Drink all the Fireball.
- Only eat brownies.
- Shuffle your feet and look down when you walk.
- Never pick up the phone.
- Do not shave. Or shower for that matter.
- Blame others/blame yourself to a state of debilitating self-loathing.
- Adopt a pessimistic view of the entire world, its ways and everyone in it.
- Contemplate becoming a smoker.
- Contemplate becoming an escort.
It is only when you’ve had enough of the above and realize that it is simultaneously exhausting and stagnating can you turn to the inspirational side of the lemons:
When life gives you lemons, don’t be a pussy!
A few posts back I stated that while I was gone I didn’t read or write or draw. I have to tell you now that that is a fib.
I did these:
Thank you, National Geographic magazine! You always did inspire me…
Behind every creative person there is a looming shadow of spiders and ghosts and other scary things. I suppose you could call it insecurity. During SNL 40, did you see that ad with the feather creature which is actually an “idea”? It’s so sad and limp when it’s neglected or made fun of. And I thought to myself, that’s so true! The creative spark inside of us is so easily bruised. Maybe its because the rest of the people in the world do useful things like build bridges, and it’s hard to remember that when you are someone who is solely good at drawing cartoons.
When I get to feeling limp like this is when I stare wistfully out of windows. But then all it takes is one compliment or speckle of encouragement to make me feel those rainbows! My tail feathers light up just like that feather creature’s tail feathers. I feel like I have been put here to draw my cartoons! And you know, I honestly do think that there is room for everyone. Bridge builders, doctors, car salesmen, strippers, nuns, comedians, cartoon draw-ers, etc. It’s good!
Just remember that people like me are made of both rainbows and spiders, which hang in some sort of delicate balance most of the time. Even the tiniest smile helps, so go compliment that person who is always posting their poems or fancy photographs on Facebook!
Two days ago I realized what I am.
It’s what, I’m realizing now, I’ve always been but never quite put together. Now I know! I can’t remember what caused this clicking-into-place, but I’m so grateful. Before, my creative identity felt rather amorphous – Artist/Illustrator/Writer/Humorist/??? Way too many slashes. But now!
And it makes sense, as I look back over myself. Maybe it’s obvious. I read every Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes and Foxtrot anthology as a kid. I was obsessed with manga as an acne riddled junior high school student. I was “in to” graphic novels from ages 15 to 18 (anything that Fantagraphics Books or Draw & Quarterly put out… I had my hands on it.) When I draw, a distillation of all of the above is what appears on the paper. And maybe a few other things.
It’s been unseasonably sunny and warm these past few days in the PNW, and I feel good. I know what the mountain I am walking towards looks like!
Cheer me on?
SATURDAY JANUARY 10th
Cozy morning – wet outside, inside warm with flannel robe and loose wool socks. Finished my book (Gone Girl) last night. Too sensational/climatic towards the end. Felt rushed and so excitable. The kind of book that is written to go to Hollywood. I don’t hold the highest respect for that form. Pretty good writing though, creative VERBS and not overdone with lame-yet-hoping-to-be-interesting-ADJECTIVES. The kind of book that offers escape, a portal from whatever’s going on in your real life. It’s nice to have that on a cozy morning when it’s wet outside.